


Undercover Hazards

by cendri (crankyoldman), venefica_aura (crankyoldman)



Series: Psychobabble [7]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-28
Updated: 2009-11-28
Packaged: 2017-10-03 21:57:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crankyoldman/pseuds/cendri, https://archiveofourown.org/users/crankyoldman/pseuds/venefica_aura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Veld and Vincent will do just about anything for the job. Crossdressing ahoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Undercover Hazards

"Those are whore boots, Veld."

 

"Well, typically crack whores wear the appropriate footwear."

 

"I am not wearing those."

 

"But they'll look lovely with the dress I picked up."

 

"You are a sadist."

 

"Only sometimes."

 

It was a little known fact that at this point in the Midgar history that it was a city of underground prostitution rings and designer drug cartels. Terrorism hadn't really reached the peak it would later, so really what they were doing most of the time was watching the unsteady balance of the slums, or losing certain political officials within it. They being the Turks. All five of them.

 

Vincent Valentine and Veld Dragoon had been working in this capacity since they were various types of underage. Only Vincent was underage still, and only in the way to imbibe alcohol. And Veld was still suffering from the embarrassment of Tally's idea to drag him to a bar and make sure he took advantage of his twenty-one year status.

 

Maybe he was getting a little revenge on his partner for the kareoke.

 

"I really do not understand why I have to dress like the crack whore. You are the prettier one."

 

"You're thinner. And I'm not pretty. Besides, I thought you said red was your color."

 

Eyes rolled. And Veld couldn't help but smirk. Because he was winning.

 

"Next time, you dress as the crack whore and I get to smack you around."

 

Eyebrow raised, and Vincent took his turn to smirk. About this point, if Tally were around, she would be telling them to keep off her desk. But she wasn't there and they were actually working.

 

\---

 

"You are lacking in the cleavage."

 

"Last time I checked, I was male. And this fits scarily good. Do you moonlight as a women's fashionista?"

 

"No. I'm just observant. Hold still, you can't be a proper crack whore without the cleavage."

 

Vincent didn't respond. It was in fact rather humiliating and strange to be wearing a short women's dress and boots that had heels which would likely break his ankles. At 19 he hadn't grown to his full height yet, but he was still an extremely tall woman. He would have to bring up that fact next time Veld got a brilliant idea. That and about how Veld could pull off mascara better. Tally was useful for information like that.

 

"So what are you dressing up in?"

 

"You'll see."

 

"No, no. I am the one dressed like 5 gil sucky sucky."

 

"Go in that bathroom and put on your makeup. I'll meet you at the predetermined point in a half hour."

 

\---

 

Vincent was getting cold, and Veld was nowhere in sight. He was starting to wonder if this was a carefully orchestrated prank. If that was the case, he was already planning awful ways to get back at the man. And likely the rest of the department.

 

Then a woman in an electric blue dress walked up. And maybe he checked her out. She was tall for a woman, but not nearly as tall as he was. Her long brown hair was put up into a high ponytail, and she had the general look of a nice small town girl who had fallen in with the evils of the city.

 

Made him wonder what type of girl he represented. Probably just cheap.

 

"You remember the target's name, Valentine?" she said, in a voice that was entirely not female. And familiar. And...

 

"Holy SHIT. You look like a girl!"

 

"Astute observation. You'll go far with a brain like that."

 

"No no. I thought you were a girl!"

 

"That's the point. You look a bit strung out. How are you handling the heels?"

 

"...You have done this before."

 

"Tally has a wicked sense of humor."

 

Veld couldn't help but notice that Vincent had all the skill of a five year old child when it came to makeup. Good thing he was playing the real junkie. It was a fair bit frightening how easily they could completely lose their masculinity with some heels and the right kinds of dresses, though.

 

"So what is my name again?"

 

"Valentine is a cheap girl's name, is it not? Just call me, uh, Val. And whatever you do, keep your voice high."

 

"I am so telling everyone about this as soon as we get back."

 

"Conveniently, we're headingn to Wutai for the week after this."

 

And with that, Veld zoned into that weird little work only mindset that he tended to. Vincent tried his best to quit oggling, because his partner seriously looked like a girl. He had to wonder what he did off duty, on his own, most of the time.

 

When it was over, and the proper people had been shot in the head, Vincent was proud to point out he'd made a little money on the side, and little makotic crack should he ever feel like experimenting.

 

Veld was mostly quiet. Then again, mob bosses getting a little too friendly tended to put a damper on his moods.

 

"We have to do this again, you know that was almost fun."

 

"You're an odd bird, Valentine. The pantyhose are killing me."

 

"I can help with that."


End file.
